It's Been A Minute

What's up y'all. I know, I know, it's been a minute since the last blog. Between this and juggling a full-time job, on top of other responsibilities, I am choosing to have a little grace with myself as far as timeliness for these posts. Hopefully, after implementing the changes I will talk about today, things will be a little more timely and consistent. That change is my relationship with video and how often I will be pursuing it.

My Current Video Work

So, for those who don't know, I have been trying to put out a YouTube video once a month. I say trying because it just isn't clicking right now, but I have still been going for it even though it isn't super enjoyable at the moment. I will give you all some insight on what it has been like.

I feel like lately, I have been really developing myself as a photographer. I always have my camera on me, pull it out for any and all photo opportunities, take photos, and post them every day, it has been great. I bring that up because this has been a natural and organic progression. It has felt good to push myself to grow as a photographer. I don't get nervous when I am out and about photographing, in fact I have been getting more confident walking up to random people asking for a portrait. The same can not be said for video.

When I record myself for a video, whether that be a talking head video at my desk, or just me in the middle of a photowalk, it makes me feel like I have a tight vest on. I don't feel natural at all. I feel myself, without my control, put on a persona, and I hate it man. I just get nervous when I know I am recording myself. It puts pressure on me that I am not a fan of right now, and I think that is because I put a pressure on myself to put out a video every month. I think it's the time constraint I put on myself.

Now I get it, to the average person with more free time than I, one video a month is easy work. Hell, YouTubers put out multiple videos a week, if not one a day. But I have realized that I am just not that guy, and more importantly, I don't WANT to be that guy. I want to enjoy my passion, not feel forced to do them just because I said I would. That is why I am deciding to go in a new direction with video.

New Direction

It is important to state that the goal of these video projects was to get me to learn how to shoot and edit video, just like I did with photo projects last year. Well, with my full-time job getting busier, getting more bookings, and just life getting more frantic in general, it has been harder to pursue this goal. In fact, it has made this goal feel like work, and not the good kind.

With all this in mind, I would feel really bad just dropping video entirely, so I do not want to do that. What I am going to do is drop the expectation to put out a video a month. I am not going to put an expectation on myself with video at all. I want to explore this, and I want it to be organic. When I am out and about, if I feel inspired to record something, I will do so. If I don't, I am not going to feel guilty for it.

Some other things I might try out are some short-form video content on social media. My brother gave me this idea a LONG time ago, and I shrugged it off because I don't want to be an "influencer". After reflecting on it, and going through all the experience I have so far with video, I am beginning to toy with this idea. What it could look like is just me showing a few static clips before I take a photo. I am not sure what this new direction will look like entirely, all I know is that this pressure I put on myself with video is draining, and it is beginning to take a toll.

The funny thing is, I put this pressure on myself, and I realize no one is expecting anything, but I do. I expect so much from myself sometimes, and this is me starting to let go of some of those expectations. Maybe some of you can resonate with that, maybe not. I guess my message to those that do resonate with it is this: keep what's working, change the things that don't. You don't have to get rid of what's working, but figure out how to adapt it to where it works for you, not you working for it.

Looking Forward

So those are some changes I am going to be making. Basically, just removing the pressure of video, and if it happens, it happens. Hopefully that will relieve some bandwidth so for one, I don't get burnt out, and two, I continue doing the things I actually enjoy doing: photographing, and surprisingly writing. I may not be super consistent with this form just yet, but I have taken a liking to it. I am going to lean into that.

Anyways, I look forward to doing things I actually want to do, and I hope you all will begin to see the effect that has on my work